Back to the Story

Backtracking just a bit.... About spring break of the 2011 school year, when I was in my second trimester, we decided I would finish out the year, then quit teaching to stay home with the boys. Best decision ever, but wow, what a change from teaching high school special education. I love teaching and working with young people. I love that moment when it clicks in their minds and they realize they have accomplished, or discovered, or solved...the moment of success when you see learning in action. As a student athlete in high school, I had the best coaches...some I'm still in touch with, whose lessons are still near and dear. So, naturally, I also enjoyed coaching and attempting to impart some of the wisdom I learned on the court. Helping athletes meet their potential and find joy in the effort...it was thrilling, fun, hard work and occasionally a pain, but I loved it. Although I knew I would miss it, I could not pass up the chance to stay home with my guys. It was, after all, what I had always wanted to do since I was just 12 years old. We had considered it the year before, but with our future with the boys uncertain, we felt it was not the best move until they were permanently ours. With number 3 on the way and adoption finally looking promising, we decided to make the leap. I spent the fall semester of 2011 home with a newborn Elijah, 18 month old Mason and, Timothy who had just turned 3. It was as wonderful as could be, but the challenges of a stay at home mom made themselves known in a mighty way!

Yes, this is a selfie in the Walmart bathroom with a baby on my hip and a newborn in the carrier!

Trying to balance feedings (every hour and a half, and he would NOT take a bottle!), naps, carrying a newborn and an 18 month old who still wanted 'up, up', trips to the grocery store and doctor, meal times, preschool, diapers, playtime, story time, and did I already say feedings (in the van, in waiting rooms, in dressing rooms, in restaurants, again in the van)? And that was all before 11am! My friend, Christy, who I've mentioned before with her girls all similar ages to our boys, told me once, "Schedule and plan everything. Always be 30 minutes ahead of them so they never win!" What hysterical, witty, and genius advice! So I did. I always knew what was coming next, even if it was a story to slow the tempo down just a bit. But, it was work, always worth it, but work none the less. Now the accomplishments and discoveries came, not with math or science, but with stacking a block tower higher than last time, or learning to summersault, or making pee in the potty. Sometimes I'd hear, "You're too structured', or 'you should just go with the flow', or 'you're making this too hard on yourself", all from good meaning people who never raised 3, under 3. So, I'd smile and go on with my plan!

Mason

Potty training was, from the first child, to present time with the 3rd child, my least favorite parental mission. I had always heard 2 years old was the magic age for this rite of passage, so as soon as Timothy turned 2 we began 'training'. It makes my blood pressure rise just to think of those days. At first it was cute and he found it fun, but very quickly into realizing this was something we wanted from him all the time, he asserted his thoughts on the matter and refused. We battled this off and on for over a year! So, when Elijah was born and we had 3 under 3 years old, all in diapers the situation became a little more dire for us, however, Timothy was perfectly fine with it and still in no hurry to use the potty.

Elijah and Timothy

A twice a month trip to Sam's to buy a box of wipes, a box of size 5 pull-ups, a box of size 4 and a box of newborn diapers, and just like that there was not much left for food!  Timothy started in a half day preschool that year, mostly because he was a bit behind in speech development. While he was there, we had high hopes that between his teachers encouraging, and seeing the other kids go, his desire to go in the potty would increase. Nope. He would not be peer pressured into doing something he did not want to do! That was, until spring break of 2012 when he was three and a half. Scott took away the pull-ups and put him in a pair of big boy undies. He told him, either you use the potty or you wear wet pants. You know, that boy never had a day time accident! I guess he had finally decided he was ready and it was just that easy.

Timothy

Mason

This was now my life. I went from a professional career where I washed my hair daily, wore heals, had young minds to mold and IEP's to write, to maybe washing my hair 3 times a week and wearing 'floor playing clothes' always scented with spit up, wondering if I had remembered to brush my teeth, and it was the best it had ever been. Not a thing I would change if I could. I've seen every milestone, doctored every scrape, cuddled during every fever, played patty cake and peek-a-boo, read Blue Hat, Green Hat a thousand times, put one boy after the next in the time out chair and on occasion sat myself there. I have been amazing and I've been unfit. But we love, we laugh, we play and cry...Oh, and have I mentioned yet that baby number 3 was in "the crib"?



Christmas 2014

It's 9:00 pm Christmas night and Scott's been asleep for 3 hours fighting a bug. We, some combination of our family of 6, have been sick for 7 days now. Strep, flu, bug.....I'm OVER. IT. If his mimics mine, he'll be down for the count another 2.5 days, vomit, then be almost instantly better. Not a ton of fun, but, you know....there are always days like this. It just stings a little more when it's Christmas. The kids missed their parties at school, we missed the candle light service at church, and now, tonight...nachos for Christmas dinner for the kids and I. Who knows, maybe it will be our new Christmas dinner tradition, born out of sickness in 2014! At any rate, the kids are asleep after a highly stimulating day that started early, went fast and furious, then finally simmered down a bit with a movie before bed. I'd go to bed early, but we napped with the kids for two hours. I have NO idea what to do with myself, so I figured I'd write. Not really sure what about yet, so it might be a mix of thoughts that may, or may not, come together in the end!

When I started this blog it was mostly due to comments from friends that I should write about our story. Then, we decided maybe we could give a positive voice to foster care. And then I thought, maybe this could be a good way to document everything for the kids, and, poof...a blog was born. After almost every post, I stew about the content, should I share so much, should we be more private, are we really ok with so many reading this? My admin page shows I've had readers in France and Ukraine!! So, I fret about being so public, but then I think, if you know me, you know I have so few secrets. Scott has told me for years, "You don't have to tell everything" because I am such an open book and will pretty much share anything, down to the details. So then I figure, maybe this is ok. No body will read it that doesn't want to because I have no advice, fancy recipes, or witty humor...only us. The fact is, our story is what it is. I'm not going to lie, or deny such a story to my kids, or anyone else who asks, about how we came to be. When I tell Timothy about the mommy and daddy who couldn't have a baby and they prayed and prayed and one day, God brought us him. And I'm able to tell him how, after years of trying and months of waiting and a week of saying no, it is no accident that at just the right time, we said yes. That's powerful, even to a 6 year old. Every detail, every answered and unanswered prayer led us right to this place and I couldn't be more thankful. Even in our toughest of moments...imagining a life other than this, well, I just can't.

And so, we'll continue hoping that, while sharing our story, I can also leave our children something special. And, if even one finds a little hope along the way, then it was worth sharing.

With that, I will say my final, "Merry Christmas", of the year. My prayer is that we all will do as Elijah did at the children's Christmas musical, and break out of line, overcome any obstacle and even break the rules a little if we have to, just to get a little closer to Jesus. Take the time to see HIM in everything.

Five Years of Christmas



 

2009-2013 Our Christmases since our first little man, Timothy showed up.  

Before the candlelight service at our church in 2009 with Onka Gang and Gram.

 

 

Banged up face from falling against the fireplace. :(



 

2010--- a new Tricycle!

Mason's first Christmas!

2011--- boys helping Daddy with the tree.

 Elijah's first Christmas!

Christmas morning!

Heading to church. We waited for the adoption so we could dedicate all three of our boys together.

Daddy snuggles with Eli.

 

Cookies!

 

2012--Sleepy boogie

My handsome guys!

 



Christmas morning!

 

 



Making sure Santa ate his cookies.

 

 



Presents!

 



Mason and Timothy shepherds at the church program.

 

 



Family time.

 



Mimi reading to the kids.

 



2013---A visit from Santa!

 



With Mimi Berta.

 



More family time!

 



More Santa!

 



Reindeer food.

 



Making Santa's favorite cookies...Oreos dipped in melted white chocolate chips.

 



Family time on Christmas Eve. 

 



 

 

 

Pinterest has nothing on us! "Don't let the baby fall!" "Please, look at the tree!"

 

Every day we are, at least momentarily, in awe of how full our lives, our home and our hearts are, but for some reason, during Christmastime we find ourselves reflective on it all. Amazed that God saw fit to bring us this crew. That He put people in our lives that would pray for us, love us, encourage us and help see us through some of the toughest moments. The phrase, 'it takes a village'......if we tried to fit everyone around our tree who has helped with our kids, loved them, prayed for them, or us. If we rounded up the aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents who, without a moments hesitation, loved with all their might.... Well, let me just say, we would need a much bigger tree. We are excited for what love and joy this 2014 Christmas will bring. Wishing you HOPE for the New Year and LOVE, in HIM.



Akinpalooza

It's been three amazing years, today, since we adopted the boys! I would love to say that today we will be celebrating as we have each year, at a restaurant we wouldn't normally frequent with our loud and messy crew, but this year....the flu struck. Ick. Of the four kids, 2 have strep and 3 have the flu...Eli got the double whammy, poor kid! Thankful for daddy, because after making 4 trips to the doctor in one day, mommy also got the flu. Glad he was able (and willing) to stay home from work to take care of us all. We are better, but not well enough to be out to eat in public.

So, for today, we will pile on the couches together and watch a movie, or two, eat what we can find and each feel like, and be grateful for each other. Because not everyday is Pintrest worthy, but every day is a gift. Some of my deepest felt 'mommy moments' have been the less pretty ones, like cleaning vomit out of a bed, and off of a 3 year old, at 11pm and explosive poop from my 3 and 1 year old, off everything the next morning! But, those are the times, when no one else sees, that we can be the biggest hero to a sobbing little boy with a tummy ache, or a baby girl with poop from her ankles to her neck. The one who can soothe with a song, or do with one hand, what should take four. When auto pilot takes over, and I know just what each needs, because, simply put, I am their mommy. It's my job to know what they need and very little brings me such joy, as caring for my kids.

But I digress, the point here today, is our happy three year anniversary! Soon, I hope to begin the next chapter of our adoption story so the baby girl in the pictures can face the camera. For now, these boys, the life we are fortunate enough to live each day, began as a struggle, became a willingness to say 'yes', was a complete surrender to, and faith in, God's plan, and at last, our family.

2014

2013

2012





Adoption Day!

It's amazingly coincidental that I've made it to this point of our story this week....the same week parental rights were terminated on our daughter we hope to adopt (I'll get to that story soon!), and the same week we celebrate our three year anniversary of this wonderful day!

Our adoption day was scheduled for December 19, and it could not get here soon enough!

We dressed and readied ourselves and our boys. Our sons! Finally, it would be an official statement!

Timothy was now 3 years and 3 months old, Mason was 21 months and Elijah was 4 months. We had been a family for 2 years and 3 months, but on this day it would be made official and they would take our name.

I don't remember exactly how long the wait was, but finally they called us back. For the most part it was fairly anticlimactic as we signed some papers and were given some of the same talks we'd had at our previous meetings basically reminding us that adopting them meant they became ours. But then the judge asked Timothy if his mommy and daddy took good care of him, to which he replied with Timothy sized enthusiasm, "Yes!". Then he looked at Mason and asked him the same question. In his typical big brother fashion, Timothy took it upon himself to inform the judge, that yes, we also took good care of Mason. And with that, the adoption was complete.

We had considered for a while that we might change their names, but when the time came, we decided that they were Timothy and Mason and we did not want to change that. But we did change both of their middle names to family names. Timothy acquired Scott's dad's middle name and Mason, my dad's. They were officially Timothy Wade and Mason Eugene, and they would be forever our sons.

Akin 5 and Gram