2012 Family Assesment

When you are a foster home, you have to re-certify every year to stay open and for us, that's in June. There are always quarterly visits from your family worker, but each year you must complete the annual review, which requires that you've each had 6 hours of training each year, that you resubmit your acceptance scale (what you are or are not willing to accept, physically, emotionally, age, sibling size...), physicals for each family member (including pets), background checks on any family member who might stay with the children, etc...... Nothing difficult, but time consuming, and deciding to recommit to keep your home open for another year.

Several times throughout the spring of 2012 we had 'the talk'. After the boys arrival and knowing our strong intent to adopt, we informed our worker that we were not comfortable taking an older child who might enter our home with anger or other behaviors that might be projected at our young sons. While we wanted to help, and saying no was always hard, their safety was our top priority. So, after the 7 year old who stayed for 24 hours while I was still pregnant with Elijah, we hadn't said yes to any call which was rapidly approaching a year. We wondered why we were staying open when we knew our willingness to say yes was so small. That the child we would accept had to fit such tight criteria constraints. But after each talk, we both agreed that it just didn't seem right to close our home yet, so we took the required steps and recertified for another year.


And why not, there was still an empty seat in the van!



Elijah, Timothy, Mason

Second Quarter

Looking back, I see that April-June of 2012 held some fun and adventurous times! The boys were now 8.5 months, 2 years and 3.5 years old. It seemed with each passing day, new words were formed, milestones were met, arguments ensued and love and laughter delighted.

 April: Easter cuties headed to church!


These guys have wrecked my heart. Love them
through and through.

 And now headed home for nap...

Our family.

Scott's mom, Mimi, has the cutest Easter bunnies that the boys love! Not sure they will survive their childhood, but for now, each spring, Mr. and Mrs. Bunny bring great joy to our kids.

"Look Mason, one for you and one for me!"

Scary bunnies or perfect playmates?

Because you just never know!

 Loads of play time...

Not sure what's happening here but I like it.

This was a special moment. They were so
sweetly and quietly looking at blades of grass together.

May: When Timothy turned 2 we decided to start a tradition of taking each boy to their first Red's baseball game with Gram. She's a Brave's fan but was willing to see the Red's to spend this special time with her Great Grandsons. In May it was Mason's turn and we had great seats right behind the Red's dugout, thanks to some very dear friends!

Game ball from Brandon Phillips!

 My mom, Onka Gang, came for a visit.....

Four generations.

Special moment with Timothy

And we spent lots of time outside! We had picnics on a blanket under the shade trees, the boys played on the swing set we bought when Timothy was 18 months and Mason was just a babe, and now, 2 years later they are about to outgrow it! And we tried our hand at t-ball....oh my. Dirt angles, bats bigger than the boys, gloves on the wrong hand....it was great! Sadly, the coach was a disaster and it was an unreasonably hot spring. Several games were cancelled due to midday temps reaching 100....too hot for little ones!

Mommy with Elijah

Might be time for something bigger!

Batter up!

A Memorial Day picture with Daddy...

In June, Elijah started walking at 10 months old! Not sure I was ready for that quite so early, but he was, and still is, an independent go-getter. Again with lots of time outside, our first trip to the zoo, where a true love of Polar Bears was formed for all 3 boys, and, I decided for Father's day I would do a Pinterest picture idea I had found...of course, he loved it!

You're too little for this!

Mason and Gram just a swinging

My superheroes surveying the land from
the fence with homemade capes.

Mommy and Eli....what a smile!

Love this!!!

Timothy and Mason snuggles....sweet sugar!

Timothy

Mason

Elijah




Through the Eyes of Generations

My Mom just turned 65 this past week while she was here visiting from Oklahoma. We had her homemade lasagna dinner, complete with caesar salad and garlic bread, topped off with a lemon birthday cake. It was wonderfully delicious! The boys ate seconds, cake was topped with candles, Happy Birthday was sang with gusto and a few small gifts were opened. It was nice to spend mom's birthday with her....I'm not sure I can remember the last time we did and the fact her mom, my Gram, was here, made it all the more special.

After dinner, Scott took the kids upstairs for bath and bed prep...teeth, hair, tickles...the usual, while Gram, Mom and I sat with a glass of wine visiting a few minutes after dinner telling, or rather, listening, to Gram tell stories. I asked Gram if she could believe her daughter was 65, to which she responded with a mild grunt and heavy sigh, "Well, yes, it was a long time ago. Just wait until your boys turn 65, then you'll see." (Just a side note....I will be 98 when my oldest turns 65, compared to Gram who is 89!) From there, the conversation turned to the time of my mom's birth. Holy cow, we've come a LONG way in the area of child birth in the last 65 years!

She was telling us that when she had her two kids, my mom and uncle, that they put her to sleep, totally out! She says she still has no idea how my mom came out but that my uncle was 'an instrument baby'. Versus my experience of totally aware, no drugs at all, this blows my mind! But from there it got so funny.....she said they wouldn't allow women to go home until they pooped and there was only one communal bathroom at the end of the hall. Every morning, about the same time, she said the carts would come, similar to the meal carts that bring food nowadays, but this was a cart of bed pans. She said you could hear them rattling down the hall and you knew it was time...imagine, a scheduled bathroom break for an entire floor of new mothers! To make this situation worse, if you didn't, or hadn't pooped, you got an enema then had to shuffle to the end of the hall and wait in line at the bathroom! Many didn't make it in time... Can you imagine?! She lied and told them she'd done her business because there was no way she was going to try to shuffle and hold it!

Mom and I were in stiches! I can only imagine what my Gram was like in those days, young and spry...lying her way out of the maternity ward to avoid the community pooping hour. But to hear her tell it now, 65 years later, at the age of 89, tiny and frail, laughing to the sound of her own story, pounding the table with her fist of indignation at the thought of shuffling with all those women, cheeks squeezed, praying they, and the women next to them, made it.....well, it was priceless.

These moments are rare, but amid them I can see 3 generations of imperfect mothers who have done, and are still doing, the best they can in each moment. I'm thankful for the example and love of both of these women. That they can laugh at the end of the day, about the moments we've survived, is a gift and a legacy.

Gram, Julia, Momma

First three months of 2012



Scott says "too many pictures and not enough stories", but trying to write about every day life, 3 years ago is tough! Since remembering those days though pictures is a bit easier for me, I will attempt to capture some highlights of the year 2012 this way, while we wait on an important court date that will allow me to tell the rest of our adoption journey!

January brought with it, new OU hats for Timothy and Mason, fever for Mason, who opted for snuggles in mommy and daddy's bed, and a visit from family for the celebration.



Grandpa and Elijah--LOVE

T and M sporting OU gear

Poor baby.






















February, I began making my own baby food, which I loved! Elijah was a wonderful guinea pig, because he loved everything! Except potatoes.....the boy would NOT (and still won't) eat a potato. Timothy had a trip to the dentist, and our sweet Mason turned 2!! What a wonderful two years it had been with this little man! (I turned, 28, I think, but there's no photographic proof of that!)

Baby bullet is awesome!

Such a good patient.

Happy Birthday!

Here's a Facebook post I made March 1st, almost 3 years ago, just after Mason turned 2: 

Mornings with May-May: After a loud and drawn out "Momma" comes the flopping about in protest of begining his morning (I so get this!) followed by curling his whole self up on his pillow...cute! When he sees I'm still waiting he throws himself to the other end of his crib on top of his stuffed animals, face first. He then hands them to me one by one, first penquin, then turtle, then woo, then sheep...for hugs and kisses. Then and only then will he give in to being removed from his sacred sleeping place. What a life...lovin every minute of it!

sweet snuggly boy

March brought warmer weather and tons of outside time, playing, building fence, or at least digging a hole for little boys to play in!! It also brought a trip to the surgical center for ear tubes for Eli, learning to hit off a tee for the big boys and porch sitting with Great Gram.

Mason and Timothy

Elijah

Smiles after tubes

"I'm just resting"








Daddy learning Mason

Eli with Great Gram

An amazing gift during this season of life, is what great friends they became. Mason and Timothy had become pretty cute playmates, and now they had a little brother who was really wanting to keep up, keep their attention and join in the fun. I'm thankful for the moments of sweet snuggles and shows of affection between them, because with this stage also came intense toddler rules of possession. You know, if it was, is, or ever will be in my grasp, then it's mine. So, we're wondering when this stage ends....three years later and we're still kinda there! "I looked at that yesterday, it's MINE!" But I digress.....these were special days that make for wonderful memories.



These Moments...

About two and a half years ago, when Timothy was almost 4, he discovered my boobs, or, big mountains, as he called them. We were sitting on his bed saying bedtime prayers, he was on my lap facing me, when, apparently out of the blue, he felt 'hills'. I lost it. Laughed so hard I cried which, first upset him, then got him laughing in hysterics loud enough to make daddy pop in and ask what was going on. Through my laughter and tears I managed to say, "He called my boobs 'big'!" Timothy said, "No mom! Dad look, like hills for my trucks!" (Complete with sound effects) And now Scott was rolling!

Other than my months of pregnancy and nursing, I have never been accused of having big boobs, so this just about made my day! Of course, following this episode came the talks about why we don't touch boobs, or try to look down shirts, so, that was fun!

Then this morning, Mason, who is almost 5, was sitting on my lap just as Timothy was a couple years ago. We were having morning snuggles and talking about school before the day began when he brought his hands from around my back, under my arms and happened upon "them". Just as they had Timothy two years ago, for some reason they caught his attention for the first time. He said, "Mommy, your tummy is getting big." Trying to hide my chuckle while sliding his hands down to my tummy, I said, "May May, that's not mommy's tummy. Mommy's tummy is down here." He insistently stated, "No mom, your top tummy! I think you might be getting a baby in there again. Babies come from tummies, you know."

It's a delicate balance, I think, between not freaking out and making them feel bad, but also, not allowing them to linger on the topic. Personally, both times, I found it so funny partly because they were both so surprised at their discovery, and because both called them big! So, I held him, laughing, thinking what wonderful moments these are. So innocent. So sweet. So hysterical.... The thorns will come, but this was a rose to start my day.